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Sent: Friday, October 10, 2008 8:16 AM
Subject: Fw: New Wall Street Definitions
Sent: Thursday, October 09, 2008 10:54 PM
Subject: Fwd: New Wall Street Definitions
-----Original Message-----
From: funhog27 <funhog27@xxxxxxx>
To: Funhog27 <funhog27@xxxxxxx>
Sent: Thu, 9 Oct 2008
10:44 pm
Subject: New Wall Street Definitions
Subject: New Wall Street Definitions
These terms have been
updated to fit today's times:
CEO - chief embezzlement officer.
CFO - corporate fraud officer.
BULL MARKET - A random market
movement causing an investor
to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no
allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets
no sex.
P/E RATIO -
The percentage of investors wetting their
pants as the market keeps
crashing.
BROKER - What my broker has made me.
STANDARD &
POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just
downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer
split your
assets equally between themselves.
MARKET CORRECTION -
The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes
as it disappears
down the toilet.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year
investor who's now
locked up in a nuthouse.
MOMENTUM INVESTING - The
fine art of buying high and
selling low.
VALUE INVESTING - The art
of buying low and selling lower.
"BUY, BUY" - A flight attendant making
market recommendations
as you step off the plane.
FINANCIAL PLANNER
- A guy who actually remembers his wallet
when he runs to the 7-11 for
toilet paper and cigarettes.
CALL OPTION - Something people used to do
with a telephone
in ancient times before e-mail.
YAHOO - What you
yell after selling all you owned to some
poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that
bought
Yahoo for $240 per share.
PROFIT - Religious guy who talks to God.
BILL GATES - Where God goes for a loan.
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG -
http://www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.173 / Virus Database: 270.8.0/1718 - Release
Date: 10/10/2008 7:07 AM
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