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Anyone remember this one from Robert W. Cummings?
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Subject: Tech Support, I have a problem...
Dear Tech Support:
I am currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I
have been having some problems lately. I have been running the
same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary
application, and all the GirlFriend releases I have tried have
always conflicted with it.
I hear that DrinkingBuddies will not crash if GirlFriend is
run in background mode and the sound is turned off. However,
I am embarrassed to say I cannot find the switch to turn the
sound off. I have resorted to running them separately, and it
seems to work okay.
GirlFriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf
3.0 program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing
incompatibility. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0,
but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0.
After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend
who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably did
not have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it
would require a Token Ring to run properly. He was right as soon as
I purged my cache, GirlFriend 2.0 uninstalled itself.
Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 Beta Version.
All the bugs were supposed to be gone, but the first time I used it,
it gave me a virus anyway. I had to clean out my whole system and
shut down for a while. I very cautiously upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0.
This time I used a SCSI probe first and installed a virus protection
program. It worked okay for a while until I discovered that
GirlFriend 1.0 was still in my system. I tried running GirlFriend
1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0
has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the
presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with
it in some way, which results in the immediate removal of both
versions. The version I have now works pretty well, but there
are still some problems.
Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure
language I cannot understand much less reprogram. Frankly, I think
there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than
the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with
your hardware, you usually have to use gold plated contacts. In
addition, I have never liked how GirlFriend is totally object
oriented.
A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to
GirlFriend Plus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version
of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriend 1.0 Plus expires within
a year if you do not upgrade to Fiancee 1.0.
So, he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which
he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space,
so he cannot load anything else. One of the primary reasons he decided
to upgrade to Wife 1.0 was because it came bundled with FreeSex
Plus.
Well, it turns out the resource allocation module of Wife 1.0
sometimes prohibits access to FreeSex Plus, particularly the new
Plug-ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be
running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything.
Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherlnLaw,
which has an automatic pop-up feature he cannot turn off. I told
him to try installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard if you
try to run Mistress 1.0 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0
will delete all of your MSMoney files before doing the uninstall
itself. Then Mistress 1 will not install anyway because of
insufficient resources.
Looking for your advice on how to sort this all out.
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